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He sees the profound impact isolation has on elders specifically, especially for those who are long-term survivors from the early days of the AIDS epidemic. Difficulties Cultivating Intimacy Existed Before COVIDīack in 2021, I first spoke to Wes Morrison, who is a senior advocate for LGBTQ elders. I wanted to learn from others who were still finding ways to do so for themselves. As a result, we may be forced to forgo seeing partners, hookups, and lovers to reduce our contact with the outside world as much as possible.Īs someone who feels like these days I’m going steady (platonically, of course) with my physical therapist, acupuncturist, and rheumatologist, I have struggled to have sex and cultivate intimacy with partners during the pandemic. The same can be said for those of us who live alone but rely on personal care attendants and other home health workers, which can be necessary to keep us alive. Disabled people-especially those who are institutionalized, living in long-term care facilities, or living in other types of group housing like rehabilitation housing-have faced isolation from intimate partners while being placed at risk for COVID harm from personal care and health care workers. For many valid reasons, disability, chronic illness, and our health may be at the center of our decision to continue isolating, masking, and reducing contact with others.Įven outside of pandemics, isolation from intimate and sexual partners can be part of one’s experience of illness or disability.
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Perhaps the anxiety and unpredictability of being out in a world with nonexistent mask and vaccine mandates compounds our mental health disabilities or increases the chance an exposure could postpone a life-changing upcoming surgery. We may do so because we are at high risk for COVID harms. However, in my own experience of trying to negotiate sex and risk reduction by asking for mask-wearing, ventilation, and testing, it seems that many in my circle are not treating reducing COVID harm the same way.Īs a result, myself and many disabled people are still in a version of lockdown and its overwhelming isolation some of us crave physical touch, intimacy, and the sex we desire. In fact, I think it’s part of many of our sex as we consider condomless sex, whether to go on PrEP or use birth control to have the types of pleasurable sex we want. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that concepts of harm and risk reduction are part of my queer sex life. The dominant narrative around COVID harm from political and public health leaders has also focused on death and hospitalization, leaving the development of disabilities and chronic health conditions resulting from long COVID out of the conversation.
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One reason this troubles me is not because of the sex I’m missing out on, but rather that I’m afraid the people I care about are not getting the full picture of how COVID could change their life. Government Accountability Office, an estimated 10% to 30% of COVID-19 survivors develop long-term effects of the disease, with estimations that 7.7 to 23 million people had already developed long COVID in the U.S. This has been difficult for me to believe as non-disabled friends, lovers, and hookups have long left me behind to “get back to normal” and take their chances with ever-increasingly virulent strains of COVID.Īccording to a March 2022 report from the U.S. Over two and a half years into this global crisis, and this is not hyperbole the effects of COVID can still be deadly for those of us who aren’t building up sufficient antibody levels, despite being advised to have three full COVID vaccination doses in addition to recent Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approval for a second booster for elders and immunocompromised people.īecoming disabled alongside the evolution of this pandemic has forced me to confront the callous realities of how non-disabled people-especially our intimate and sex partners-view our place in the world. Disabled and chronically ill people like myself are facing challenges to intimacy and connection amid a still deadly, ongoing pandemic. Nowhere has this been more a struggle than in my desire for sex and connection.